


Standing Next to Me

by marcel



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcel/pseuds/marcel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam meets Louis in a coffee shop and doesn't quite know how to feel about it. Luckily, neither does Louis. They go on Not Dates, Harry and Niall cuddle a lot, and Zayn is the only sane man in town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Standing Next to Me

**Author's Note:**

> so this is for somerdaye's birthday, because the entire idea was born when i was writing her an essay about why i liked her so much. also i'm really sappy like 24/7 so some of that probs bled into this just fyi. beta'd by gracie, thank you darling <3  
> ok  
> ok let's go

Liam didn’t plan to spend his afternoon in a coffeeshop with a book of poetry, but his roommate had a way of making things happen, especially when they involved great American poets.

“If you come back with anything less than the entirety of the first section finished,” Zayn had said, after more-or-less throwing Liam out of the flat, “I’m locking you out.”

It wasn’t that he regretted his decision to live with an English major (no one could write the landlord a scathing letter about the flat’s lack of heating quite like Zayn could, after all), but Liam had heard the ‘I Swear to God this Book Changed my Entire Life’ speech about three times too many during the last week.

As he moved up in the queue, he turned the thin paperback over in his hands. The cover was well-worn, the edges tearing slightly, and a great many of the pages were dog-eared - a sure sign that Zayn had already lost count of how many times he had been through it. Sighing, he placed his order and tried to convince himself that this book would definitely not be as dull as the others Zayn had thrown at him in the past.

A sudden burst of raucous laughter came from the other side of the shop, and Liam felt every literature-related thought slipping away as he looked over at the boy getting up to leave. He had his back turned, a mobile pressed to his ear while he had a lively conversation with the person on the other end. Liam allowed himself a full five seconds to admire the way his jeans clung to his hips and his--

Only five seconds, though, because Liam was definitely not going to let the barista at the counter notice him appreciating the guy’s figure (or, as Zayn would say, ‘checking him out’, but Liam liked to think he was more polite than that).

He turned back around to grab his drink as it was handed over the counter, and nearly dropped the cup as the boy let out another peal of laughter. Liam had never heard anyone sound so musical, so _bright_ like their voice could attract songbirds or something equally as ridiculous. He briefly considered following the boy outside, just to listen for a bit longer, before he remembered that he was not, in fact, a creep.

He turned around, drink in hand, and had taken two steps away from the counter before something bumped his shoulder, in a rough sort of way, and suddenly his tea was a rapidly-spreading puddle on the floor.

“Christ. Sorry, mate,” he heard someone say, and then a boy- _the_ boy- was right beside him, shoving his phone into his pocket and snatching an entire container of napkins off the counter. “I walked into you, wasn’t looking where I was going. You alright?”

Liam was having a bit of trouble comprehending the sudden change in proximity. It was one thing to admire (‘check out’, his inner Zayn reminded him) someone from across a room, but another thing entirely when they were face to face with you ten seconds later. The boy apologized again, running a hand through his hair before bending down to clean up the mess. He looked up after a moment, and Liam realised he hadn’t said anything.

“Um.” _Eloquent._ “It’s my fault, really, I shouldn’t have been in the way.” He bent down beside the boy, helping him soak up one edge of the puddle.

The boy only laughed and shook his head. “No, don’t even try that, mate. This is completely on me.” They worked through nearly the entire stash of napkins before one of the employees came around with a mop, and stood side-by-side as the rest of the mess was cleared away. Liam kept his eyes trained on the remnants of his tea and hoped his heartbeat wasn’t as loud as it seemed.

“Oh. You dropped this,” the boy said after a moment, bending down once more to pick something up- the poetry book. He looked at the cover and pulled a face as he handed it to Liam. “You’re not one of those weird English students, are you?”

Liam laughed nervously, thinking of Zayn and the deep depression he had fallen into the one time he lost his library card. “No, my flatmate is, though. He forced this one on me.”

The boy smiled at that, nodding in an approving sort of way. “I’m Louis,” he announced, offering a hand out for Liam to shake, “Friends call me Lou, Mum calls me something that I’m not willing to disclose. And you are?”

“Um, I’m Liam,” Liam said, taking Louis’ hand tentatively. He paused, then added, “And my friends call me Liam.”

Louis laughed, not as loud as he had on the phone, but Liam felt himself start to smile anyway, and some ridiculous 14-year-old part of himself went a bit weak in the knees.

“Right, Liam,” Louis said, with his grin still in place. “How do you like your tea?” Liam looked confused, and Louis rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know if you remember, but I knocked your drink out of your hand, like, two minutes ago,” he explained, digging his wallet out of his back pocket. “I’m going to buy you another, so tell me your order and go sit down.”

Liam spluttered a bit, but Louis cut him off. “No, this is happening. If you don’t tell me what you want, I’ll get something gross and make you drink it.”

Figuring he’d best not tempt fate, Liam sighed. “Strong, with 3 sugars. Please.” Louis grinned again and marched off to place the order, leaving Liam feeling a little dazed and a lot like he wanted to see more of his smile.

Liam beamed when Louis ambled up to the table, sitting down across from him and sliding a steaming cup of tea over. Liam wrapped his hands around the drink and inhaled deeply. “Ohhhh. Thank you.”

Louis leaned back in his chair. “Don’t thank me yet, wait until you’ve finished it without dropping it everywhere.”

Liam blinked. “Are you staying here?”

“Obviously,” Louis said, and gestured at the poetry book. “Someone’s got to make sure you don’t die of boredom while reading that.”

“I don’t think it’ll be quite that bad.”

“You never know. My mate Stan once said that about my cooking, and we all know how that went.” Liam didn’t know, but Louis carried on anyway. “Point is, we’ve only just met, and I don’t want to get all teary-eyed whenever I come in here, remembering poor naive Liam who underestimated the power of terrible literature.”

“Um, the what--”

“I’ll buy flowers every weekend and leave them at this very table, and years later the local children will hear about today and be taught the dangers of the written word.” He leaned forward, locking eyes with Liam. “This can all be avoided, of course, if you tell your roommate to get bent.”

Liam looked appalled at the suggestion. “I could never!” Louis shrugged, looking amused, and lounged back in his chair again.

“It’s not like he’d take me seriously anyway,” Liam continued, looking down at the tabletop. “He’d probably, like, ask if I was feeling alright and take my temperature.” Louis burst into laughter, throwing his head back, and Liam felt himself smile again. He decided he could get very used to that sound. He wanted to keep it ringing in his ears, bring it home with him, learn it inside out-

“Okay, I see how it is,” Louis said, snapping Liam back to reality. He dragged Zayn’s book across the table and began flipping through the pages. “We’ll settle this issue of your roomie’s taste in reading material once and for all.” He stopped at a random page and passed the book back to Liam, smirking. “Read me that part, out loud. If it’s music to my ears, I’ll get a rain cheque on those flowers.” And he sat back, arms crossed over his chest, looking at Liam expectantly.

Liam cleared his throat and looked down at the page, hoping Louis couldn’t see the flush spreading over his cheeks.

“Um,” he started, and heard Louis snicker from across the table. He steeled himself, cleared his throat again, and began to read.

(it wasn’t quite musical, but Louis decided to postpone the flowers anyway.)

\--

Liam didn’t notice how long he had been sitting with Louis until one of the baristas told them the shop was closing. The sky was only just starting to darken, and they gathered up their things and stood together outside, neither quite willing to walk away first.

Finally, Louis sighed. “Well,” he said, shifting his feet. “this has been nice, but I’ve gotta run...”

Liam nodded, dropping his gaze to the sidewalk. “Yeah, me too. Thanks for the drink and that.”

“Yeah.” A beat, and then, “Liam.”

Liam glanced back up to see Louis grinning at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’ll see you around, yeah?” Louis said, walking backwards a few steps.

Liam nodded and gave a small wave. “Sure. See you.”

He watched Louis until he turned the corner, then turned and started walking in the other direction. He replayed the sound of Louis saying his name, playing it on loop in his head until he got home and it was only an echo.

 

\--

Liam had vowed long ago to teach Harry how to sort the bakery’s finances, he just hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it yet. He made his way home with a box cradled in his arms (full of receipts and bills and whatever else), and reminded himself- as he did every week or so- to corner Harry in the storeroom and force a calculator into his hands.

He kept his eyes on the sidewalk as he devised his plan, and didn’t notice the wide-set man walking towards him until he was, quite literally, knocking him over.

“Watch it, kid,” the man spat after his shoulder slammed into Liam’s, and Liam lost his grip on the box. As it slipped from his fingers in seemingly-slow-motion, he pictured the papers spilling out into the street and half-expected his life to start flashing before his eyes- but then someone was catching it, and grabbing his arm to keep him from falling on his face.

He looked up to thank his saviour and possibly offer them his firstborn, but the words caught in his throat.

“Hey, Liam,” Louis said, and Liam felt his face heat up. “Fancy meeting you here.”

 _You remembered my name_ , his mind rejoiced, but he managed a simple ‘hey’ instead.

Louis handed the box back to him and stepped around him, eyes on the man who had bumped into him and was walking away.

“If you’ll excuse me for just a moment,” he said, voice still cheery. “I’m going to go tear that dickwad a new one.”

It took Liam a moment to understand. “No no no no no, wait-” His hand shot out and caught Louis’ arm, turning him back around. “Just leave him, okay? It’s alright, I’m fine, there’s no need to get arrested for assaulting a man in public--”

“He nearly bowled you over!” Louis cried. “What if I hadn’t been here? You would’ve gone sprawling! I’m- I’m-” He searched for the right words. “I’m defending your honour!”

Liam managed a tired smile. “You can throw your coat down over the next puddle we see, okay? Just- please- don’t bother with him. It’s not worth it.”

Louis grumbled under his breath, but agreed. “Only if I carry that for you.” He pointed at the box in Liam’s arms.

“Only if I can buy you coffee,” Liam shot back, and then looked away because _did he actually just say that?_ Coffee wasn’t the same as, like, getting drinks, right? Except coffee was definitely a drink. He just asked Louis out for drinks. Shit.

Louis was silent for a moment, like he was thinking it over as he took the box from him. “Yeah, okay,” he said, and started walking. Relieved, Liam fell into step by his side.

\--

“It’ll be a bit of a bruise, if anything,” Liam insisted for the hundredth time, rubbing slow circles into the joint. “It’s not dislocated, that’d hurt a lot more than this.”

“You’d better be glad it’s not,” Louis said, hands curled around his cup. “Hurts like a bitch to get fixed. I’ve seen grown men cry about it.”

“Oh, I know,” Liam rolled his eyes. “Zayn- my roommate, I mean- did his in highschool, falling off a roof.”

Louis nearly choked on his coffee. “Off a _roof?_ ”

“It could’ve been a lot worse, but he managed to miss the gravel driveway.”

“Oh, good on him, then.”

“He didn’t want to go home after and get driven to the hospital, ‘cause then he’d have to, y’know, explain to his parents why he was on the roof in the first place. So me and him, we went to my house and looked up how to fix it on the internet, and he had me put it back in place, like, right there in my bedroom.”

Louis made a face. “Jesus. You’re a braver man than I.”

“Hardly,” Liam mumbled, looking down. “I mean, you were about to run after that guy after he bumped me--”

“Body-checked, more like.”

“--and yeah, I had to snap my best friend’s bone back into place when I was 15, but I’m not... _brave_ , y’know?” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Like, I maybe spoke 10 full sentences during 8th grade, until Zayn came along and demanded real conversation.”

Louis hummed. “Not saying much doesn’t mean you’re not brave, though.” he shrugged. “If you’ve got nothing to talk about, then no one should give you a problem for being quiet.”

Liam gave a small smile. “Where were you back when I needed to hear that?”

“Getting drunk before I was legal, probably,” Louis said, and took another sip of coffee. “I don’t really remember a lot of high school, to be honest. It’s a bit of a blur. Papers and desks and alcohol, mostly.” He grinned at Liam. “Am I wrong to assume you’re not exactly a party animal?”

“No, you’re spot on,” Liam admitted. "I try to stay within my comfort zone. But hey, this is the first time I’ve gotten coffee with someone that I’ve only known for a few days.” He looked down again, face feeling hot. “Not to mention the first time I’ve asked someone to get coffee with me.”

“Awww, Liam!” Louis crowed, reaching across the table to ruffle Liam’s hair (and Liam did his best to not let his eyes flutter closed). “I’m honoured, I’m sure I’ll be the first in a long line of beautiful women and broken hearts.”

 

\--

It went on for a few weeks, the two of them accidentally crossing paths every couple days and deciding to discuss whatever was on their minds that day over coffee. It was strange, Liam supposed once, how neither of them were ever in the middle of doing something else when they met up with the other. Then again, he thought as he and Louis took their usual seats, he would’ve dropped everything during any hour of the day just to hear Louis’ voice or see him smile. He wondered, for a moment, if that was a bad thing. He wondered for much longer if Louis felt the same.

 

\--

Louis’ story of The Time he and Stan Nearly Died for the Sixth Time was interrupted by a loud beeping from his pocket and paused to take out his cellphone, frowning when he glanced at the screen.

“I’ve got to get home, my other friends have the shittiest timing in the world,” he explained as he pushed his phone back into his pocket at stood up. “Sorry about this, I hate leaving things unfinished.”

Liam stood up with him “It’s okay,” he said, trying not to look too dejected. “I should probably get going too, make sure Zayn doesn’t make noodles for the third day in a row.” He picked Louis’ coffee up and held it out to him. Louis reached for it, but pulled his hand back.

“Can you get me a lid for that, actually?” he asked, pulling his coat on. “It’d save me from a potential pair of coffee-stained trousers, y’know what I mean?”

Liam laughed. “Anything to help.” he crossed the shop to snatch up a lid from the counter, placed it on Louis’ cup, and walked back over.

Flashing a grin, Louis turned towards the exit. “I’ll see you later, Li,” he called, throwing a wave over his shoulder before pushing the door open.

 _Li_. Liam couldn’t help smiling to himself as he gathered up his coat.

And it wasn’t until he was outside the shop that he noticed the phone number (signed LOU inside a lopsided heart) scrawled on the back of their receipt.

\--

But Liam didn’t call.

He pinned the scrap of paper to the fridge and looked at it every time he entered the kitchen, the not-quite-neat handwriting and the single row of numbers.

It was just- he was so _boring_ , just a guy who worked in a bakery and liked to sing sometimes, and he always either rambled too long or said too little, and he couldn’t see any reason why someone like Louis- someone as vibrant and _electric_ as Louis- would bother finding time for him.

Except he did.

So Liam looked at the number, smiled about it, and didn’t call.

 

\--

Until.

“Liam?” Zayn called hesitantly from the kitchen. “Who’s ‘Lou’, and why do you have their number?”

Liam jumped up from the couch just as Zayn appeared in the doorway, holding up the receipt covered in Louis’ scrawl.

“Um, a friend?” Zayn looked unimpressed.

“What kind of friend are we talking, here?”

“The... friendly kind?”

“It’s signed with a heart, just there--” Liam moved to grab the scrap out of his hand, but Zayn pulled it out of his reach.

“The _really_ friendly kind? Look, he’s just someone I met a few weeks back and we’ve gotten coffee a couple times.” Zayn raised his eyebrows, and Liam heaved a sigh, sitting heavily back down on the couch. “It’s nothing, really it isn’t.”

“If you say so,” Zayn said, but didn’t move off back to the kitchen.

Liam avoided his gaze for a full 2 minutes before throwing his arms up in the air, exasperated. “What!?”

“Are you gonna call him?”

“Am I- what?”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Have you done anything with this phone number other than stick it on the fridge?”

“Of course not,” Liam said, as if it were obvious. “Why would I?”

Shrugging, Zayn stepped forward and sat down beside him. “Well,” he started, turning towards the other boy. “usually when someone gives you their phone number, you call them. It’s a thing people do.”

Liam shook his head roughly. “No no no, I can’t,” he mumbled, jumping up and pacing anxiously around the room. “Definitely not.”

“And why’s that, Liam?” Zayn asked with a sigh, tipping his head back on the couch. Liam took a deep breath.

“What if it’s too soon and it makes me look clingy?” he crossed the room in four quick steps, turned, and repeated the movement. “What if he only gave me the number to be nice? Like, ‘oh, he’s looking a bit sad, this ought to cheer him right up’? What if he thinks I’m _weird?_ ” he paused, glancing at Zayn. “What if he thinks _you’re_ weird?”

“Hey, now--”

“What if he thinks I’m alright, but _just_ alright?” He threw himself down on the couch, one arm flung over his eyes. “What if- what if it’s a ‘let’s be mates’ phone number and not a ‘I want to kiss your face’ one?”

“Okay, well,” Zayn said slowly. “would you rather it be the latter?”

“No. Yes. Maybe?”

Zayn blinked, wondering when the conversation took a turn for the dumb-and-in-love. “Can you backtrack a bit?”

Liam groaned. “He’s funny and loud and looks good in everything and he bought me tea and made me read poetry and saved me from falling over and thinks I’m _brave_ , Zayn, how am I supposed to do this?” he rolled over and buried his face in a throw pillow.

Zayn rubbed his back soothingly. “You could start by calling him.”

“But what if--”

“No, hush. Who would make the effort to write out their phone number like this if they didn’t want you to contact them?” he narrowed his eyes. “Come to think of it, who even writes out their number these days? He could’ve just asked to put it in your phone, but instead he wrote it down and signed it.” he glanced over at Liam. “With a heart.”

Liam sat up and hugged the pillow to his chest. “I guess I could,” he murmured. “Call him, I mean. Maybe.”

“Put his number in your phone at least, you wuss,” Zayn sighed, standing up. “I don’t want to be reminded of your gross heartsickness every time I want a glass of juice.”

Liam laughed, but slipped his phone out of his pocket and created a new contact. A few digits and then Louis, and he hovered over the CALL option-

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Liam James Payne, press the fucking button or I will do it for you.”

“I think I’ll just... send him a text.”

“Oh my god, you are such a wimp.”

  
 _To: Louis_  
 _3:49 PM_  
 _Hrty89’d3;_

_3:49 PM_  
 _That was Zayn_

_3:50 PM_  
 _This is Liam, by the way_

_3:50 PM_  
 _Hi_

  
_To: Liam_  
 _4:02 PM_  
 _;)_

\--

The absolute worst part of having Harry as a coworker, Liam decided, was that he had a way of looking like a lost kitten when he did something wrong - like when he stole your umbrella.

“I’m so, so, so sorry,” he said as he rushed around the shop, stacking the chairs while trying to put his coat on at the same time. “I know I said I’d bring it back, like, yesterday, but things came up and Niall was over and- and I wish I could help you close up but he’s waiting in the car, like, right now.”

Liam glanced outside at the current torrential downpour, then back at Harry, who was biting his lip with an anxious expression.

“Look, Harry,” he said gently. “I really just need to lock up, and the rain isn’t _that_ bad--”

Lightning flashed outside, and a clap of thunder made the lights flicker. Liam forced himself to smile.

“I’ll be fine, really.” Harry still looked unconvinced, but took a hesitant step towards the door.

“You’re sure?”

“Of course,” Liam said brightly. “Go on, Niall’s waiting for you. You owe me a shift, though, alright?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, alright. I’ll bring the umbrella tomorrow.” He pushed the door open and looked once more back over his shoulder at Liam.

“Just _go_ ,” Liam urged, laughing, and Harry broke into a grin before stepping out onto the dark street and sprinting over to Niall’s car.

Once he was gone, Liam took his time closing the cash register and turning down the main lights, hoping the storm would pass so he could walk home, but the rain pounding the windows didn’t let up. Thunder crashed again and he sighed, taking a seat on the main counter and pulling out his phone. Zayn was working late, so he wouldn’t be able to help, but...

_To: Louis_  
 _8:52 PM_  
 _Dyou have an xtra umbrella?_

_To: Liam_  
 _8:56 PM_  
 _no just one, srry. why?_

_To: Louis_  
 _8:57 PM_  
 _Walking home from work. Its ok._

_To: Liam_  
 _8:58 PM_  
 _but the rain??? :((((_

_To: Louis_  
 _8:59 PM_  
 _Its just water yeah? :)_

\--

“Just water,” Liam told himself as he stepped outside into the rain. He locked the bakery’s doors behind him and shoved his hands into his pockets, braced himself, and began to walk.

He was soaked before he had gotten to the corner of the street, and seriously considering calling a cab to drive him the 4 blocks back to the flat. He had almost gotten his fingers to stop shaking long enough to dial the number when a splashing behind him made him spin around.

“L- _Louis?_ ” He couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing at first, watching Louis jog up to him through the rain, carrying a striped umbrella. “What are you doing?”

Louis couldn’t seem to stop smiling. “I’m here to rescue you,” he said breathlessly, holding the umbrella out to shelter Liam under it.

“But--” Liam pushed it back so it covered Louis properly. “--I can’t just take your umbrella, you’ll get just as wet as I am!”

“Okay, so I won’t give it to you.” He held the umbrella over Liam’s head again, unaffected by the droplets of rain soaking through his clothes. Without thinking, Liam reached out and pulled Louis closer to him, so they were pressed together- but both were protected by the umbrella.

Louis grinned at him. “Excellent idea, Liam,” he said, and wound his arm around Liam’s waist. “So, which way to your place?”

Liam squirmed against Louis’ side, face red. “I’m soaked,” he mumbled, but Louis only tightened his grip.

“Yeah, so?” he laughed. “It’s just water, yeah?”

Liam rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway.

They managed to reach Liam’s building without jumping in any puddles (although Louis tried twice), and stood quietly under the overhang while Liam fumbled with his keys.

“I wish Zayn was home,” he said, more to fill the silence than anything. “I could just call him to let me in, and once I got him to carry me to the elevator- mind, that was the day I forgot my keys and Zayn couldn’t hear the buzzer going off over his new rap album or whatever, and an hour later he finally came down and I nearly cried--”

“You and Zayn,” Louis said abruptly, and when Liam glanced up he looked away, shuffling his feet. “Are you two, like, you know.” He sniffed, twirled the umbrella in his hand. “A thing?”

Liam burst out laughing.

“Um, no? Where’d that come from?” He resumed his attempts to place his key in the lock with half-frozen fingers. “He’s got a girlfriend, Perrie, she sings opera. But I mean, even so, Zayn’s not...” He paused, rubbed his hands together, tried again. “He’s my best friend. I can live with him just fine, but he’s not someone I’d want to take out for a romantic dinner, or--”

He missed the lock for the third time, and Louis grabbed his hand. Liam looked up confusedly and found him a lot closer than he was only a few seconds ago, near enough for him to feel the other boy’s breath on his cheek.

“Or get coffee with?” Louis murmured, leaning in, and Liam wasn’t quite sure what was happening until Louis’ lips pressed against his own.

And Liam - after blinking stupidly for a moment - closed his eyes and shyly kissed back.

It was chaste but sweet, and Liam felt Louis smile against his mouth as their fingers tangled together.

\--

_To: Zayn_  
 _10:05 PM_  
 _:D_

_To: Liam_  
 _10:07 PM_  
 _whatve u done_

_To: Zayn_  
 _10:08 PM_  
 _It wasnt a ‘lets be mates’ number_

_To: Liam_  
 _10:15 PM_  
 _i mightve just done a victory lap round the shop_

_10:16 PM_  
 _i didnt but its the thought that counts_

_10:16 PM_  
 _use protection :) x_

\--

 

Not a lot changed, and they didn’t talk about it.

They had their routine, getting coffee together every few days, texting back and forth often, and sometimes lying together in Liam’s flat, having quiet conversation face-to-face on his bed, or tangled and squished (but comfortable) on the couch in the living room. It was safe, reliable. Louis was partial to physical contact, Liam knew, and they kissed, sometimes--

(it happened every now and then since the first time during the storm - outside the shop just before they parted ways, and louis tasted like coffee; in the flat, where it was slow and lazy like they had all the time in the world; or just in the middle of a conversation, when Louis leaned over suddenly and captured Liam’s mouth with his own, and Liam forgot what he was about to say anyway)

\--but they had boundaries, too, unspoken rules and lines they didn’t cross for fear of it- whatever it was- collapsing underneath them.

\--

Zayn was the one to bring it up.

“So,” he said one day, just as Liam entered the flat with a still-warm coffee cup in hand. “how’s the boyfriend?”

Liam raised his eyebrows. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he laughed, setting the cup down and taking off his coat. “He’s just a friend, I’ve told you before.”

“Well, judging by how red your face is,” Zayn sighed, crossing his arms. “either winter’s come really, really early, or you two were just snogging by the door.” Liam spluttered, but Zayn ignored him. “I’m just saying, I don’t know anyone who I’d do that with. Except, you know, my _girlfriend_.”

“We’re not dating!” Liam cried, throwing his hands up.

“You do realise you’ve been going on _coffee dates_ , right--”

“Zayn, seriously, we’re not--”

“Okay, okay,” Zayn shrugged, stepping back into his room. “If you say so. I just want to make sure you two are on the same page with this.”

Liam rolled his eyes. Zayn was wrong, obviously. Getting coffee together every so often wasn’t dating.

Kissing sometimes wasn’t dating, either.

(But what was it, then?)

\--

“Louis?” Liam murmured, one hand pressed against the other boy’s chest. He could feel his heartbeat under his palm, slow and steady as they lay together on top of the bed covers. Louis hummed and opened his eyes, turning over on his side to face Liam.

“What, Li?” He brought his hand up, tugging on Liam’s wrist until he removed it from Louis’ chest and slid their fingers together.

Liam squeezed his hand gently. “What are we doing?”

“I don’t know,” Louis whispered, breaking into a smile. He shifted closer on the bed, bumping their noses together. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Liam breathed, and Louis kissed him softly.

\--

 

Of course, Louis was the first to toe across the line.

He caught Liam’s hand just after they said goodbye outside the coffee shop, pulling him back the two steps he had taken.

“Would you--” he started, then licked his lips and tried again. “A mate of mine is having a, um. A party. In a couple days. And I’m going. And I’d like you to- if you wanted to, I mean--” He looked down at the sidewalk. “... Come with me?”

Liam blinked. “A party?” Louis nodded, peeking up at Liam through his fringe. “With music and alcohol and all that?”

“That’s the general idea, yeah. It’s cool if you don’t want to go--”

“No, I want to,” Liam said quickly. “Of course I want to.”

Louis lifted his head, beaming. “Awesome. I’ve gotta get home, but I’ll shoot you a text with the details, yeah?” He pressed a kiss to the corner of Liam’s mouth and was off.

Liam stood there for a moment, biting his lip. The only parties he’d been to were Harry’s, and those usually entailed Harry and Niall cuddling and laughing on the couch while he and Zayn looked at each other, shook their heads, and tried to understand whatever weird film Harry had rented for the night.

Well, whatever. Liam could handle red plastic cups and top 40 hits.

Besides, he figured as he started walking home, Louis wanted him there, and that was reason enough to go.

It would be okay.

Right?

\--

_To: Liam_  
 _9:12 PM_  
 _liam???_

_9:20 PM_  
 _where are u????_

_9:32 PM_  
 _llliiiiiaaaaammmmmmmm_

_9:46 PM_  
 _:( come on li where are you_

\--

Liam spent the first hour or so of the party hiding in his room back at the flat while Zayn listened to him whine from outside the door ( _“Why did I agree to this? I don’t know how to party, they didn’t teach me this in sixth form. He’s gonna hate me, I don’t even drink! This was such a stupid idea. He’d have more fun without me, I should just stay here and drown myself in sparkling apple juice--”_ ).

After being dragged out by his ankles and receiving a stern talking-to - choice excerpts were _“Liam Payne, get the fuck out of this flat”_ and _“If he asked you then obviously he wants you there, now go, you twat”_ \- he finally made his way across town to the address Louis had sent him.

He felt some of his anxiety slip away as he approached the house- it didn’t look half as bad as what he was expecting, no one was hanging off the roof or dead on the front lawn. Which was, you know, always a good sign.

He was greeted at the door by Harry, with Niall in tow, who slurred his way through an explanation of how he came to be in charge of answering the door, and Niall pressed a cup into Liam’s hand before the two of them stumbled down the hallway, giggling and falling into each other. There were people scattered all around the house, and Liam put the cup down near some empty beer bottles, taking a few small steps down the hall. It dawned on him that he had no idea where Louis was.

He considered sending him a text, but shot the idea down- he didn’t want to seem any more awkward than he already felt by standing off to the side alone and texting- so, he followed Harry and Niall, hoping for the best.

At the end of the hallway was the living room, where most people seemed to have gravitated. Some were up and dancing in the centre of the room, swaying to the beat of the bass-heavy music coming from the tv’s speakers. Others perched on the couches and chairs that lined the walls, sitting and talking- or, like Harry and Niall, cuddling like kittens.

Liam glanced around the room, searching for some sign of Louis- a glimpse of his feathery hair, a snippet of his laugh- but the mass of dancing party-goers blocked his view. He was about to try a different room when Niall tugged on his hand.

“You lookin’ for Lou?” he asked, and Liam gaped.

“How did you--” Liam started to say, but Harry, sprawled underneath Niall, looked up and grinned, and Liam almost wanted to smack him.

“He’s over there somewhere,” Niall said, gesturing to the other side of the room. “Moanin’ about his sad life when I saw ‘im last. Better get on that shit.”

“Um. Thanks?”

Niall nodded, saluting Liam before turning his attention back to Harry and nuzzling into his neck.

Liam managed to sidle along the edges on the room for the most part, but eventually had to wade into the sea of tipsy dancers to get to the area Niall had pointed out. His heart started to pound as he got closer, squeezing past the other guests, and he felt himself begin to smile.

Then, all at once, he broke through the last of the dancers and there was Louis, legs slung over the arm of his chair, and Liam took in a breath to call out to him--

Except it caught in his throat.

There was a girl with him, on him, straddling his hips and running her hands through his hair. Her lips were sliding across his in a messy open-mouthed kiss, and suddenly Liam couldn’t quite breathe. He stood rooted to the spot while the party guests writhed around him and the music throbbed in his ears, until Louis opened his eyes lazily--

And caught sight of Liam.

And pushed the girl away with a wet sound that made Liam’s stomach drop even further.

“ _Liam--_ ”

He was backing away before Louis could shove the girl off his lap and stand up, and was halfway outside before Louis had caught his balance properly. The music wasn’t quite as loud outside, but his heartbeat pounding in his ears drowned mostly everything else out. He stopped abruptly on the sidewalk in front of the house and tried to make his lungs work.

He and Louis were not dating.

He and Louis were not exclusive.

Whoever Louis made out with at parties was none of Liam’s business, and he shouldn’t be bothered by that.

But thinking about the way the girl’s hands had dragged through Louis’ hair made his throat tight, and he found himself gasping for breath.

He had dialed Zayn’s number before he realised he had his phone out, and it rang only once before Zayn answered.

“You alright, mate?” he asked when he picked up, as if he already knew what was wrong, and Liam swallowed hard.

“Yeah, um. I’m fine.” Deep breath in, deep breath out. “I just, uh. I just--”

“D’you want me to come pick you up?” Liam could already hear the jingling of car keys on the other end, and silently thanked whatever God was out there for giving him Zayn Malik.

He gave Zayn the address and hung up just as Louis came stumbling out of the house.

“Li, she’s just a friend, I swear,” he said, rushing to Liam’s side. “She’s just had a break-up, her ex is a right prick, she needed some cheering up, so I--” He tried to grab his hand, but Liam pulled away. He almost felt bad at the way Louis’ face fell, but his hair was still mussed and his mouth all red and Liam really, really wanted to go home and sleep, or cry, or both.

“It’s okay,” he said, hoping he sounded more calm than he felt. “You don’t need to explain, you can go back inside.”

“Please, Liam--”

“No, really. I’m fine, just... tired.” He tried to laugh, but it sounded all wrong. “You should go back in, she’ll be wondering where you went.”

Louis crumpled. “Li, it’s not-- she doesn’t mean--”

“It’s alright, Louis, go back inside.”

“ _Liam--_ ”

“Just--” Liam closed his eyes. Deep breath in, deep breath out. “Just go, okay? I’m fine.”

Still, Louis stood with him, staring at his shoes, until Zayn pulled up. Liam took one last deep breath and left him at the curb.

\--

They pulled up in front of their building and Zayn turned off the engine. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Zayn glancing over at Liam, waiting for him to speak first- but he looked so tired and miserable. He was considering just leaving it and leading him up to the flat, when Liam took a sudden breath.

“It’s just,” he said, forcing the words from his throat. “I thought it couldn’t happen, you know? Not this. Not with him.” He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Not with him.”

Zayn didn’t say anything, but wrapped Liam in a tight hug until he stopped shaking.

(and when they got up to the flat he pressed a warm mug of tea into Liam’s hands, sitting with him on the couch while he explained what happened, in starts and stops and shuddering breaths)

(and Zayn stayed the night in Liam’s room, just in case)

\--

 

Liam woke up feeling heavy, and almost didn’t remember why.

He spent the day wandering around the flat, making too much tea but drinking it all anyway, answering concerned texts from Zayn. Every so often he paused, glancing at the clock, and realised that, on a normal day, he’d be out getting coffee at that moment.

With Louis.

It felt like a break-up, but Liam knew better. They were never anything in the first place.

It felt like a punch to the chest, and he decided that was closer.

\--

(He awoke suddenly, at too-early in the morning, from a dream where Louis said his name and laughed and the sun came out just to hear it, just to watch the light dance across his face.

Liam stayed awake until he heard birds chirping, but the sun stayed hidden behind dark clouds.)

 

\--

It was nearly 11 when the front door buzzer went off, and also raining, but Liam headed down to answer it without a second thought. He figured it was Zayn, off from the late shift a bit early but forgot his keys, as he was apt to do. It was likely he forgot an umbrella, too, so Liam hurried across the lobby and pulled the door open--

But it wasn’t Zayn at all, and Liam froze.

Standing on the doorstep, half turned away like he was about to leave, was Louis. He was drenched, his hair and clothes dripping, and he looked tired, like he hadn’t slept properly in days. His face lit up when he saw Liam, but almost immediately his smile melted away.

“Hey,” he greeted, a little breathlessly, and Liam stared. “I’m, uh, not really sure why I’m here, to be honest,” He looked down, scuffed his foot along the wet sidewalk. “I would’ve called but you- you haven’t been picking up, so I just...” He sniffed and shook his hair out of his face, sending water droplets flying, and Liam remembered the rain.

“Oh, come here,” he said, pulling Louis inside. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking-- you’re soaked, I’m so sorry--” He reached up to brush his hair out of his eyes-

But pulled his hand away. He had nearly forgotten about how badly his chest ached, but now it came back in full force. He thought of the girl’s hands in his hair, how red his mouth looked even in the dark--

And now he was standing right in front of him.

Louis gave him a sad smile.

“Hi,” he said quietly, like he was afraid something would break. “Can we talk?”

\--

They sat silently across from each other at the kitchen table, and the only sounds in the entire flat were the clock ticking and Louis’ coat dripping in the hall (Liam had offered a towel, but Louis only shook his head). It was weird, Liam thought, watching Louis stare at the tabletop and bite his lip. Until that moment, they had never sat down together and had trouble finding words- especially Louis, with his bright eyes and confident smiles. Liam had never seen him look so unsure.

Louis took a deep breath and spread his hands on the table.

“The thing is,” he started, eyes still downcast. “I don’t do... this.”

Oh.

“Oh,” Liam said, and tried not to sound hurt.

“No, I mean--” Louis clenched his fists. “I mean, I do the coffee and the snogging and all that, no problem, but I don’t-- I don’t do the feelings part. The ‘let’s go home and cuddle’ part. The ‘lying in bed with clothes still on, just looking at each other’ part.”

Liam shrank back slightly. “But that’s what we--”

“What we did. Exactly.” He gave a small smile. “With you, it’s different. I can’t really-- I don’t know, but it is. God, Liam--” Louis leant back in his chair, looking at the ceiling. “I’ll see something that makes me think of you and I get this- this ache, it feels like I’m missing a limb. And I don’t know what to do with it, I don’t know what it even means, but--” He met Liam’s gaze, his cheeks tinged pink. “I _want_ to spend the day on the couch with you. I want to lie with you on your bed and just _look_. I want to kiss you whenever I have the chance. And whatever we had going on, I need to know if- if we can get that back.”

And Liam very nearly told him yes.

He swallowed hard and looked down at his hands, knotting his fingers together on the tabletop. “At the party,” he mumbled. “That girl you were with. Was she--”

“Just a friend, I swear,” Louis assured him. “Her boyfriend had just dumped her, so she got smashed and went looking for someone to make her feel a little loved, I guess.”

Liam’s eyes widened. “And you just let her, while she was _drunk--_ ”

“No! Well, sort of?” He ran a hand through his damp hair with a sigh. “I had been... waiting. For you. But it didn’t look like you were going to show, and I-- I don’t know, I was feeling awful and there was alcohol around, and we were both looking for a way to feel better.” He smiled sadly, reached across the table and brushed Liam’s hand with his fingertips. “I wish it had been you.”

Liam laughed lightly and covered Louis’ hand with his own.

There was a pause while they slid their fingers together, then-

“So what happens now?” Liam asked quietly, tentatively.

Louis smiled and shook his head. “I don’t think we can go back to what we had before.” He was about to continue when Liam wrenched their hands apart and jumped up from the table, almost knocking his chair backwards.

“Liam, wha--”

“Shhh.” In the silence, they heard the flat’s front door open.

“Zayn’s home,” Liam said, in a panicked sort of way. “and he may or may not want to, like, beat you up.”

\--

Liam’s lightning-speed explanation of the situation earned Louis a hard glare from Zayn, but no one was hurt, so Liam counted it as a positive reaction. Even after Zayn left the two of them alone, Louis figured he should get going anyway, and pulled his sodden jacket on once again.

“Are you sure?” Liam asked, walking with him to the door.

“Yes, for the twelfth time,” Louis laughed, and stepped out.

“Hey, um--” Following him out into the hallway, Liam closed the door to the flat behind him. “I just-- I don’t want to leave this at some awkward stage where we’re not going to come back to it, like half-fixed but half-not.” He crossed his arms, looking uncomfortable.

Louis broke into a crooked smile and leaned in to kiss Liam- but changed his mind at the last moment, pressing his lips to Liam’s cheek instead. He pulled back and started to walk down the hall.

“I’ll text you, yeah?” he called, and Liam hoped it wasn’t as much of a goodbye as it sounded like.

 

\--

He did text Liam, though, much to his relief, a few days later.

The first message had a time and date, and the name of a park that was nearby. He was confused (was Louis seriously that bad at asking someone out?) until his phone lit up again with a second message.

_To: Liam_  
 _5:34 PM_  
 _this band is doing a sortof-secret gig, i thought you might want to go?_

_5:34 PM_  
 _its alright if you dont_

_To: Louis_  
 _5:37 PM_  
 _Nonono I’ll be there :D_

_To: Liam_  
 _5:38 PM_  
 _;)_

 

\--

Liam recognized the band’s sound as soon as he got close, but couldn’t quite remember the name. Louis had showed their entire album to him once, he knew, sharing a pair of earphones while they were curled up together on the couch.

( _Why do you like this one song so much?_ he had asked, after Louis restarted it for the fourth time.

 _I don’t know_ , he laughed, tucking his feet underneath Liam’s. _It reminds me of you, a bit._ )

He found Louis easily enough, standing near the edge of the crowd watching the band, and nudged his shoulder.

“Hi,” he greeted him, and Louis gave him a smile, nudging right back.

“Hey. I was worried you wouldn’t show,” he laughed, but it was uneasy. “I mean, after what happened the _last_ time I asked you out to something other than coffee--”

“I trust you,” Liam said. _I’d go anywhere you asked me to,_ he thought to himself, but something about the way Louis grinned made him think that maybe he understood anyway.

They chose a picnic table off to one side of the park - not so far away they couldn’t hear the band, but not so close they couldn’t whisper to each other - and sat with their feet on the bench and their sides pressed together. Louis slipped his hand into Liam’s almost without thinking, and they both looked down in surprise at their intertwined fingers before smiling shyly at each other.

They were quiet for a few moments, bumping their feet together and listening to the band start in on another song, before turning in and speaking at the same time.

“Hey, I--” Liam started, just as Louis said “Y’know--”, and they laughed timidly until Louis gestured for Liam to speak first.

“We’re- we’re okay now, right?” he asked, and Louis grinned at him.

“I dunno, I was going to ask you that.”

Liam snickered. “Well, we’re on the same page, at least.”

Louis laughed at that, and pressed his forehead against Liam’s. They turned their entire bodies towards each other, hands clasped between the, and as the current song wound down, Louis pressed his lips to Liam’s, slow and sweet.

As the band started their final song, Louis clambered off the table, pulling Liam with him.

“This song,” he said breathlessly, tugging Liam toward the crowd. “This song is my _favourite_. Dance with me.”

They did dance, completely ridiculously at first, swinging their hands together and twirling around, but eventually they moved in closer and swayed to the simple beat of the song. Neither of them could seem to stop smiling, and as the last chorus started up, Louis tugged Liam in by his hips.

“Listen to this part,” he whispered to him, but Liam knew what the next line was- he had heard it so many times already. He leaned down to kiss Louis once more.

_‘I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart...’_

 

the end :D


End file.
